"Nau Mai haere mai -I am in a Year 5 and 6 class called Tuatara at Mangonui School and my teacher is Ms Lloyd
Welcome to my reflective blog. Please remember I am learning to write my ideas clearly for an audience.
That is an impressive piece of writing Cooper and the in depth detail made it very interesting to read. They way you described the events and the choice of words used made for a super exciting piece of work. I loved your "brain storm" - did you find that it made it easier for you to do your writing ? Your writing has gone from strength to strength since I had you in my class with Whaea Maddie - ka pai !! Can't wait to read more of your writing ...
Kia Ora Cooper! A great story line for your narrative! I think it would be a valuable idea to zoom in on one moment in your writing and provide more detail - perhaps you might like to describe the scenery or the way a character feels at a particular moment.
WOWWWWWWW Cooper.......this was an amazing piece of writing. You have always been a precise writer that likes to get things in order and you have nailed it with your narrative. I like your brain storm too and it obviously helped when you wrote your story. I did wish that there had been more to it like if you could have stretched it out a bit more to get some suspense going near the end but all in all what a fabulous job you have done!
Kia Ora. Thank you for visiting my blog, I would love a thoughtful, helpful and kind comment. All comments are moderated by my teacher so there may be a delay before they appear.
That is an impressive piece of writing Cooper and the in depth detail made it very interesting to read. They way you described the events and the choice of words used made for a super exciting piece of work. I loved your "brain storm" - did you find that it made it easier for you to do your writing ? Your writing has gone from strength to strength since I had you in my class with Whaea Maddie - ka pai !! Can't wait to read more of your writing ...
ReplyDeleteKia Ora Cooper! A great story line for your narrative! I think it would be a valuable idea to zoom in on one moment in your writing and provide more detail - perhaps you might like to describe the scenery or the way a character feels at a particular moment.
ReplyDeleteGood job Cooper, How about add more information about the rescue and what injuries that his injured friend had.
ReplyDeleteWOWWWWWWW Cooper.......this was an amazing piece of writing. You have always been a precise writer that likes to get things in order and you have nailed it with your narrative. I like your brain storm too and it obviously helped when you wrote your story. I did wish that there had been more to it like if you could have stretched it out a bit more to get some suspense going near the end but all in all what a fabulous job you have done!
ReplyDelete